Administrative Professionals Day
For the most part, we all work in offices that have a mix of male and female employees. Whatever the jobs or roles they play, everyone should be recognized for the unique contributions they add to the organization.
Yesterday, April 25, 2012, was the 60th anniversary in observance of Administrative Professionals Day. I’m all for observing such days and celebrating the people who work in these roles. But I have to ask if it’s a common practice for companies to invite “all the girls in the office to lunch” for this observance. When women are in a role not identified nor titled as “Administrative Assistant”, “Administrative Professional” or “Administrative…” anything, doesn’t it come across as sexist and demeaning to be grouped in this just because you are a woman?
What if there was an observance day for “Salesmen” and the boss invited “all the guys” to lunch? Sexist, right?
Growing, Learning, Confidence and Humility
April 2011, I began a series of posts exploring the topic of Being an Expert. The first six posts were completed during a time that afforded me the opportunity to really reflect on those crazy and stupid moments that led up to the changes at the Plymouth Soccer Club. Since then, life has been turned on its head. Ironic that my last post was actually on August 12, 2011, the day before I took a significant step that allowed me to take the last 4 steps of Being an Expert and arriving to the place I’m at today. Granted, this doesn’t mean I feel I am an expert at much of anything, but I have come to the realization that each of the 10 steps in the process have presented themselves to me.
August 13, 2011 – The plan that had been formulating for the week prior comes to a head when I finally contact my former employer, Peter Brown, about possibly coming back given the situation in Syracuse is not working. Two days later, while I’m back in Syracuse, Peter calls to say that one of their salesmen has put in his resignation and that he would like to put in his recommendation for me to come back in that position. Given that my objective is to bridge a, hopefully, short-term gap of leaving Raymond and getting back in to SAP consulting, I tell Peter that I would gratefully take on the challenging role.
Although I tell this as if it were a quick, reactive agreement, it most definitely took me a longer time to talk myself in to it than what I’m portraying here. Just a couple of months prior, during a personal exercise, I wrote that something I never wanted to do in a career was be a salesperson or have to talk on the phone for extended periods. Here I was taking a path that completely went against this declaration. Little did I truly realize that I was taking the step to “Know How to Forget What You Know So You Can Know Something Else You Do Not Know.” By taking on this sales role, I was learning to Grow!
As fate would have it, I didn’t have to wait for my interview with my former employer to make the change as the Raymond Corp took the opportunity on my 6-month review to amicably part ways since it was no longer my intentions to move to Syracuse and it was clear I was not happy there. That gave me the opportunity to move forward with the plans already in motion, but to also interview for another opportunity with a major automotive company in the Detroit area that would put me back in a SAP role.
After interviewing with that company and my former employer, it was my intention to prove to myself that I could do something different but in a role that I felt I had more confidence given my past knowledge of the product and company. I also felt the role with my former employer would have a greater impact given its ‘proximity’ to the owner and other decision makers. This opportunity would allow me to grow and learn! The following week, I accepted the position of Business Consultant back with Real Green Systems and informed the SAP-related position that I just felt more comfortable with going in that direction – even though the pay was significantly less!
Fast forward to late January, 2012. In this role of Salesperson/Business Consultant, I learned that I definitely knew what I was writing about the previous year when I said I didn’t want to be in sales. Although I have exceeded my personal sales goals for the short 5 ½ months in the position, as well as exceeded the commission goals, it has been a drag on my psyche and energy. It has gone against every desire and personal belief I’ve ever had, not to mention being in an environment that simply doesn’t suit me. Yes, I’m oversimplifying this for this post, so I’ll just leave it at that for the time being.
Here’s where things begin to change once again. Although I’m in the midst of closing 8 new sales that help the company achieve record sales for the month of January, and doing the same in February, I’m finally honest with myself that this is not the best long-term career choice for me. My head and heart are still focused on how I can help my former youth soccer club and getting back to working with GuiXT on a regular basis. I had taken on a small, remote GuiXT contract to help a company but it has been moving slowly which works just fine with my regular travel schedule and fits with their expectations. Doing the work again really inspires me and challenges me in the ways I feel most confident and effective. With this realization, I made a definitive effort to put my resume back in the market and search out SAP and GuiXT opportunities.
The calls and emails came flooding in! Most are irrelevant to my experience or what I can do regarding travel or relocation, but it was good to see there were more opportunities than in the past. Then the real opportunities came in – GuiXT contracts! In the past, I’d be lucky to see 1 or 2 new contract opportunities a year. In just one week, 3 opportunities were presented to me! At this moment, I am very close to closing on one while the other contracts are on hold until later in the year.
The only words to best describe these opportunities is… THANK YOU!
Thank you to Real Green for giving me the chance to learn a new skill – sales – while also learning that it is something I really don’t enjoy. I don’t enjoy the pressure to meet unknown sales goals, I don’t enjoy the haggling with prospective purchasers and I don’t enjoy the seemingly fake efforts to give the customer a “great tool to help them grow their business.” It just all feels so disingenuous.
Thank you to my wife, Tiffany, for putting up with my constant changes. Although she just goes along with it, I know that it can be stressful whether our budget is under control.
Thank you to my kids for understanding when I have to travel or work extra hours at my other contracts. I’m grateful they get to be kids and experience a life that is not as insane as my childhood was.
I hope to report in about 2 weeks that I will be working in Atlanta on a long-term GuiXT contract. If not, I’m confident that other great opportunities will present themselves.
Oh, as for soccer, well that will just have to wait for now. If the timing is right, I’ll be able to help out with some assistant coaching, ref a few games or just help where needed. Although my heart lies with the kids and the club, I just have to move beyond all those politics and past headaches. If I’m meant to be a part of their world, it will happen.
How Not to Start a Day
Friday morning. A “vacation day” taken so I can be home with my family after another 4-day week in Syracuse, NY. Drove the 450 miles last night, arriving at 10:45pm. Just another of the 16 hour round trip weekly commute.
To help with my sanity, my plan was to get up a little early – 7ish, well early for the rest of the family – and go ride my bike 25 miles. Get a good workout as my only workouts for the week were a 3 mile walk around Green Lake State Park on Monday and 30 minute intense stationary bike work Tuesday and Wednesday.
7:10am – wake up without an alarm. Good start. Cup of yogurt. Riding gear on. Ready to go! Oh, that’s right, I still have to change the flat tire from 2 weeks ago! Didn’t do anything last week because of Jason’s ODP tryouts.
Toi the shed with the tire. Get the tire and tube off with little issue, and back on fairly smoothly. Air goes in smoothly with the electric air pump (one of the best purchases ever!) and wheel resecured.
Oh uh, something’s wrong with the chain and gears so I start working the pedals to get everything aligned and — POOOOOW! Freshly changed tire pops!!!!
Back to the garage until another day. Heck, I really should just sell this one and get something more “multipurpose” so I don’t have to deal with so many tire changes, not to mention the less than comfortable seat.
With the biking plans thwarted, change out of the biking gear for a quick walk while listening to the iPod. Oh, but wait. The iPod has been turned on for who knows how long and is dead! 2 for 2!
Ah but there is something far better than these temporary mechanical hiccups. I got in a 3 mile walk – a litle jogging mixed in – and write this post. I also have a plan I’m working on to get out of Raymond Corp, get back home and restructure my income earning methods. I also must rededicate some time to finishing my “Expert” posts and the last 4-5 are long over due.
Monday, April 5, 2010 – It’s just another day at work and I’m mentally preparing for the Board meeting the following day where we are supposed to finalize the Bylaw changes and present the Executive Director position. The Bylaw changes are seen as minor and should be a breeze. Mid-morning, I get a call from our Director of Coaching (DoC), and it’s the shocker of my life. He bluntly states “This is going to hurt you, but I have to tell you that [Ms. Secretary] and [Coach B] are against you and the Director position!”
Wait. Backup. Against me? Against the Director position? How? Why? Didn’t we just spend the last 2+ months discussing this in detail, working out how it would work financially? Didn’t we stay up late a few Friday and Saturday night’s scrutinizing every little word and phrase in the Bylaws to make sure it was right? All the hours developing and reworking every possible detail and scenario of the budget! I’ve never experienced physical shock, but this must be it!
Apparently a “secret” meeting had been called at the home of our DoC because there were whispers and rumors floating around – unbeknownst to me – and he wanted to “clear the air”, so to speak.
All but 3 of the club coaches showed up – those 3 not being interested in any finger-pointing or rumors if I wasn’t going to be present – to hear Ms. Secretary and Coach B present various items and stories of how I was being dishonest and had all sorts of bad plans for the coaches and club. This went on until 1:30-2am Monday morning when our DoC’s wife finally kicked them all out.
Coach C (remember that he is my oldest son’s coach and helped with the incubation of the Director position) and our DoC listen to their claims and admittedly begin to believe much of what they are saying. After sleeping on the conversation and so-called ‘facts’, they tell me that it doesn’t make sense and are still supportive of the Executive Director proposal. It took all day and several more to wade through what was really happening.
The number of phone conversations and emails in the proceeding 32 hours certainly put our cell phone batteries to the test. Without going directly to Ms. Secretary or Coach B, I tried to glean as much information as possible from Mr. VP and other club coaches by listening to the various claims and accusations. All I kept hearing was the claims were baseless and too far-fetched. Admittedly, I did not go to the sources to get their side of the story because I felt completely betrayed and Mr. VP suggested that we just wait and see what happens at the meeting Tuesday night. Everything was speculation and conjecture at this point.
It was either that same night or later in the week – I’m foggy on that date – our DoC, his wife and Coach C came to my home, until very late in the evening, to rehash in gory detail all that had been discussed. The three of them had come to the conclusion, on their own, that it was evident I did or said something to Ms. Secretary or Coach B that completely turned their feelings toward me. We speculated for hours! While I listened and processed everything, my wife had come to her own conclusions of demonic proportions. Our DoC’s wife was also climbing the walls over the situation. Although the knife in my back was evident, I was determined to take the high road and hear everything out. Unfortunately, none of it ever really got clarified to objectively proceed.
April 6, 2010 – for me, the Board meeting is a tense one. I know that our DoC and Coach C are on edge. I sense that a few other coaches are curious but appear optimistic. I don’t really hear any buzzing about any of the topics that are likely to come up as it’s actually just the beginning of the Spring season and people are talking about their teams and players.
As the meeting is just about to start, Ms. Secretary walks in, sits 2 seats to my right (buffered by our Member At-Large [MAL] person between). Mr. VP is to her right, our DoC to my left, and Mr. Treasurer and the Rules & Referee (R&R) guy to my far left.
Why would I even detail this? Well, this is exactly how many of the Board members want it so to keep things ‘civil’.
I haven’t mentioned the R&R guy in a while, but he begins to get involved shortly after this meeting.
Sidebar – an ongoing issue had been mulling in our group in regards to Coach C’s Visa status. His was scheduled to expire later in August, so we continued to talk about how to complete the application and find people who might help. Just before the meeting is to start, Coach C approaches Ms. Secretary and MAL about the subject as they apparently communicated to him that they might have some information. In the conversation, Ms. Secretary comments that there’s a $50 fee just to download a particular application related to the Visa process. I say that’s not true as I already have the document downloaded, but Ms. Secretary snaps back to me that it has changed. Really not a relevant point, but listening to her tone, I know that she is no longer interested in having any conversations with me! The Visa topic comes up again later in the story.
Throughout the meeting, I kept fairly silent. I knew that Ms. Secretary had gone behind my back so I wasn’t fully prepared to say anything and decided to just listen and ensure nothing inappropriate happen.
Inappropriate – there’s a word that gets so overused in the next 3 months!
Listening to the minor debates about the Bylaw changes – related to who had voting rights – I can sense the coaches are not happy with the direction some Board members are suggesting. However, the verbiage doesn’t change significantly and the Bylaw changes are completely ratified. Assuming that Mr. VP is going to introduce the Executive Director proposal and make the motion, our DoC nudges me to talk about the proposal. I’ve assumed Mr. VP will do it, so I give him a look of encouragement, which he takes as a suggestion to adjourn! They both assumed I was going to make the motion! Yikes! Ms. Secretary packs her stuff so fast and bolts out of the room! Everyone else starts to mingle and gradually disperse. DoC and Coach C approach me asking why I didn’t say anything. Again, I assumed Mr. VP was because we had discussed for months how it would be in our best interest that I never actually officially introduce the proposal in the meetings – “conflict of interest” (yet another overused word). The four of us then spend the next 60-90 minutes outside discussing what went wrong and how we are going to proceed before the next Board Meeting. What confused me the most, though, was a combination of statements by Mr. VP that seemed to contradict what he may or may not have known prior to the meeting or even over the past few weeks. I decided to not challenge him, nor have I to date because I honestly don’t remember exactly what was said. It just seemed strange at the time.
Over the next two weeks, there were some sarcasm laced emails from Mr. Treasurer regarding some of the auditing he was now performing on the Reign ’95 boys team, viewed mostly as an attempt to find something that I failed at, and mostly ignored by me to not fan the flames. (Although I later prove to him that money from the team had been gifted to me, he still makes the claims that I’ve embezzled something like $400!) I asked Ms. Secretary on Friday, April 23rd to put the proposal on the agenda along with a fundraising presentation. With these intentions stated, there weren’t any questions presented to me.
April 24, 2010, Coach B, our DoC and I meet at Starbucks where Coach B lays out what appeared to be the true issues. I listen to the issues:
- There’s an accusation made about a coach that is so outrageous, but apparently such a sensitive topic with Coach B and Ms. Secretary, it is clearly the impetus to all the venom. Although I have what I understand to be the facts, we debate its merits and come to the conclusion that we can agree to disagree, I think. Because of the nature of the topic, I’ve chosen to not discuss it in this public forum.
- Trust – Coach B doesn’t trust me because of a couple past situations:
I. Back in 2008, we were notified of the logo issue that the English Premier League raised. I still contend we were ratted on, but that’s not for here. Anyway, sometime in the Spring of 2009, at around the time we were looking for new design ideas, Coach B’s ex-wife submitted a pencil drawing of something she thought would work. It had been forwarded to Board members and essentially shot down as not something we wanted to pursue (along with another design submitted by a close personal friend of mine living in North Carolina). The three designs presented by MAL’s husband were the most feasible. Sometime shortly after those email exchanges, I don’t recall dates, times or locations, apparently Coach B asked me if we had made a decision on the logo and I apparently responded with “we already voted on it.” Again, I don’t recall any of these details. Coach B apparently asked Ms. Secretary if there had been a meeting to decide this, to which she responded that there hadn’t been a meeting or a vote. While it may be true that our Board meeting had not happened, this was a meaningless decision we had basically done via email and then approved at a meeting. I would love to say that I can pin point the exact meeting that happened at, but I don’t have any electronic version of the meeting minutes because Ms. Secretary NEVER forwards them after the meetings are complete. Ultimately, this is such a minor item, but Coach B says this is when his “radar went up” about trusting me.
II. At the Spring 2009 tryouts, it had already been announced that I would step away from being head coach of the Reign ’95 boys and Coach C would take over. At that time, we had 3 teams. At tryouts we had about 7 players too many for 2 teams, so there would have to be cuts. Ms. Secretary’s son, ultimately, was one of them. Coach B stated that he was disappointed that I didn’t put in a “good word” for the son so Coach C would consider him for the team. I explained to Coach B that Coach C and I had agreed that I would not get into the politics of what many of the parents surely deemed ‘guaranteed spots’, nor would I put any spin on any player, positive or negative. I would provide the data we gathered at the tryout and allow him to make the decisions without influence. Coach B continued to push the point that I should have said something on behalf of the son given Ms. Secretary’s work and commitment to the club. Apparently, not doing so went against our 3 C’s (Community, Camaraderie, Competition), more directly “Camaraderie”. Now she has to drive him to Dearborn to play on a poor team with a bad coach (which incidentally, I heard he quit from mid-season). He also asked about a rumor that I had told Coach C that the son shouldn’t be on the team because he had a bad attitude. Again, nothing of the sort was said. Coach C made his own assessments throughout the last half of the spring 2009 season and tryouts and chose the teams.
III. When was the Executive Director proposal presented to the current Board? As detailed throughout this story, the idea was discussed throughout January, discussed at both the January and February meeting, talked about at several meetings where the Bylaw changes were being detailed and the budget analyzed. I then forwarded the written proposal to Mr. VP throughout February-March for critique/revision. Apparently, the fact that it wasn’t shared in a timely manner with all the Board members created a perception of deceit and/or dishonesty.
Further on with the proposal, apparently something was said between Coach C and me at a meal we had with Coach B while on our way or in Philadelphia attending the NSCAA convention (I think I told this part in an earlier post). Apparently Coach C said something about “the position” to which I apparently said not to talk about it. I don’t recall this, but Coach B’s “radar” was again piqued since Coach C knew something. Honestly, it was at several meals that Coach C had at my home with my family that got me thinking about the idea so he was well aware of its merits and possibility. Our DoC was also fully aware and supportive. If I felt uncomfortable discussing it with others it was simply because I wanted to be sure it was developed properly and then communicated effectively.
IV. In the meeting with Coach B, I stated, exaggerating a bit, that I had forwarded the budget and trainer schedule spreadsheet at least 10 times. How many times these were emailed over the year, I don’t know precisely. Does it really matter? NO! What matters is that he, Ms. Secretary & Mr. Treasurer felt I’ve tried to conceal or hide information or not be truthful about coach stipends, the Executive Director salary and overall control of the club. If someone asks for something, or clarification on data, I’m always willing to provide. Give me a snide, sarcastic response like Mr. Treasurer had become adept at, I prefer to ignore it and not say anything to reduce the flame throwing.
The issues seem so petty, right?!?! Well, honestly, the first issue was important and I felt that we had dealt with it appropriately. We just weren’t going to air this publicly, for sure. The trust issues were just strange given the positive direction the club had been taking all those years yet Coach B really wanted to dig deeper and prove “transparency”. What he (& Ms. Secretary) was really looking for was the “smoking gun.” In an email two days later, he asked for clarification.
“There are a couple of questions that are still bothering me about our meeting Saturday morning. I’m hoping you can clear these up for me. You stated that:
- You were unaware of the allegations against….. What excactly (sic) did you understand the allegations to be and when and how were you made aware of them.
- That a copy of your proposal for a new position was emailed to the executive committee months before April 24th. When exactly did you send that out and who was on the email list?
- That the budget for 2010/2011 requested by the treasurer was emailed to him over ten times in the past year. When exactly did you send that out and who was on the email list?
- That training timesheets for 2009/2010 requested by the treasurer were emailed to him over ten times in the past year. When exactly did you send that out and who was on the email list?
- That the board approved the use of new logo through email. When approximately were those conversations taking place and who exactly was in the email chain?
- [DoC] stated that you told him and that [Mr. VP] confirmed that the whole board except for [Mr. Treasurer] was onboard with you about this new position. When exactly was that and who exactly are we talking about?”
I never responded to these questions which I’m certain provided plenty more fuel for their fire. Not only was there fire and brimstone, but the tangled web of email accusations and threats heat up and club meetings turn ugly. I had listened to all the accusations and had learned all that I didn’t know up to that point. I felt that the problems weren’t going to hold the club back and we were going to move full-steam ahead. Unfortunately, steps 7-10 of Being an Expert were still out of grasp.
Know How to Teach Others What You Know (Give)
Installment #5 about being an expert as it relates to the Spring 2010 issues at the Plymouth Soccer Club
4 Things mankind craves most – Freedom, Happiness, Peace & Love. None of these can be obtained without first giving them to someone else. – John Wooden, legendary UCLA basketball coach
Shortly after graduating from Indiana University in 1991, I took a few core classes in hopes of earning a teaching degree (a second Bachelor’s), much like the one my wife Tiffany was completing. Tiffany earned hers in 2002, but two courses and other distractions later, I did not attain such a degree. I did earn my Master’s in Computer Information Systems many years later, but it was seventeen years on from my original Bachelor’s that I felt teaching would be the path to pursue. The idea of being able to give to those who wanted to learn, connecting with moldable minds and being more connected with my community gave me hope and meaning. It was all based in the understanding and mission of Community, Camaraderie, Competition. Again, in the summer of 2009, I took 3 courses in hopes of earning that elusive teaching degree, and again, finances and distractions got in the way. I was about a month short on getting some of that so-called “Obama money” after attending 3 sessions with a state agency
that was supposed to provide for the funds, but the program was nixed mid-process. I’ll never understand the politics or policies of that one, but without funding and a way to maintain regular income at that time, I opted for a low-paying, full-time, less than stellar position at a small software company in Walled Lake, MI.
It was a comment and book recommendation at that NSCAA Convention in January 2010 – by one of my favorite speakers, Bill Beswick, — that led me to the book Mindset:
The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. Having devoured the book about 2 weeks later and sharing the premise of the book with our Plymouth Soccer Club coaches and administrators, I felt a connection with something so academic yet relevant to the path I was taking with my life and the Executive Director proposal. The following is a short summary from Daniel Pink that I find just as revelatory as he does (The 3 Rules of Mindsets).
Dweck’s broad argument is that what people believe shapes what they achieve — mostly irrespective of their innate talent. Some people, she says, have a fixed view of
intelligence: They believe that intelligence is an entity, that we’re each endowed with a particular finite supply. Others have a growth view of intelligence: They believe that intelligence can expand through practice and effort.
Your starting assumption about intelligence — your mindset, as she calls it in her book — heavily determines what you’re able to accomplish. And people with growth mindsets generally accomplish more and learn more deeply.…Dweck set out three rules that nicely summarize the differences between the two mindsets along with
quotations from students that demonstrate the rules.
RULE #1
Fixed mindset: Look clever at all costs. (“The main thing I want when I do my school work is to show how good I am at it.”)
Growth mindset: Learn, learn, learn. (“It is much more important for me to learn things in my classes than it is to get the best grades.”)
RULE #2
Fixed mindset: It should come naturally. (“To tell you the truth, when I work hard at my school work it makes me feel like I’m not very smart.”)
Growth mindset: Work hard, effort is key. (“The harder you work at something, the better you’ll be at it.”)
RULE #3
Fixed mindset: Hide your mistakes and conceal your deficiencies. (After a disappointing exam score, “I’d spend less time on this subject from now on.
I’d try not to take this subject ever again, and I would try to cheat on the next test.”)
Growth mindset: Capitalize on your mistakes and confront your deficiencies. (After a disappointing exam score, “I’d work harder in this class
and spend more time studying for the tests.”)
If you have children, manage others, or are at all interested in improving what you do and how you do it, you need to understand Dweck’s research and its implications. For more info, here is the transcript of a speech from last year in which Dweck covered ground somewhat similar….. Stanford Magazine had a good profile of Dweck a few years ago that included an excellent infographic explaining the differences between the two mindsets. And be sure to check out her books — either Mindset or the more academic Self-theories.
Clearly, the examples above are geared toward students and how the different mindsets affect them in regards to learning and exams. However, this topic became a common discussion point for Coach B and me as he was working toward his teaching degree after many years in other, unrelated work and I was constantly challenging my own vision and desires for myself and the club. I really admired his tenacity to work toward his teaching degree and the time he devoted to it, in addition to his responsibilities as a single parent and coach/trainer.
The opportunity to teach so many young soccer players was always the primary fuel in the hybrid world of the expanding competitiveness of Plymouth Soccer Club. When I came in to the club, we probably had 200 members. By 2008-2009, we were over 400. In that same time, Coach B was one of the defining factors for our growing success. The manner in which he transferred his unique teaching style and personality to the field drew some players to the club. This was, and continues to be, true of other club coaches, but it wasn’t until well after everything had settled down that I came to the conclusion that not all coaches and administrators actually understand and embrace the Growth
Mindset over the Fixed Mindset.
The February 2010 Board of Directors meeting took place at the small office we were renting from a local indoor soccer facility. We had recently secured the room, nothing special, but it gave us our own space to have private meetings anytime we needed. I had invited 6 people so they could get a sense of what the Board did so they could determine whether they would have any interest in the soon-to-be-vacant Treasurer position and any of the At-Large Members we were prepared to propose as part of our Bylaw modifications. I was encouraged by their attendance as we discussed normal state of affairs and business items. I can’t say that I remember exactly what was discussed that night – there’s no record or Meeting Minutes as Ms. Secretary conveniently destroyed them later on – except for one specific topic. Toward the end of the meeting, I casually informed everyone that I was considering a proposal to the club for the creation of the Executive Director position. Generally speaking, it seemed to be accepted by everyone (Mr. Treasurer wasn’t there) and there were enough questions that it seemed the general idea was being supported. At one point, it was asked what type of salary the position would take, to which I responded that I hoped it would be $35,000-$40,000 the first year with some sort of increases set over a 5-10 year period. It was also clarified that the position would not include any other fringe benefits commonly found in any job but would generally take on all the responsibility of fund-raising and sponsorships to support such a position.
There was also a brief discussion about how the club could grow and expand its base through the current City of Plymouth’s Recreational program. I made a comment something in the nature of “we need to find a way to merge our programs” which was also interpreted as “we need to take over the Recreational program.” Whatever I said, or however I said it is certainly up for debate, but I feel confident that I’ve never made any statements that should have led anyone to believe that we were going to take over the Recreational program. The politics and headaches that would present were, and still are, far too much for a volunteer organization to take on.
The reason I bring up this portion of the story, while seemingly irrelevant to the Growth Mindset or “Giving” theme, is that in the chronology of events shortly after this meeting, I became mired in a Fixed Mindset and temporarily lost sight of why giving and teaching is so important to the mission of Community, Camaraderie, Competition. I lost sight of the friends I had around me and the thoughtful minds who would have kept me focused on the true goals. I’m not suggesting that any of my fellow Board Members where these people, but reverting to a Fixed Mindset – or as Seth Godin calls it, the Reptilian Brain – set me on a selfish path. My primary focus became how to make this Executive Director position a reality, how it and the club would sustain the financial load, and how I would be able to maintain a basic income through something I had great passion about.
A few weeks after that February meeting, Ms. Secretary calls to tell me that someone from that February meeting is a “leak”! Someone has gone to the City of Plymouth Recreational Director (Steve Anderson) and told him how I want to take over the Recreational soccer program. Since I know this isn’t reflective of the truth and, in hindsight, there doesn’t seem to be anyone in the room that would have gone to Steve with this information, I spent about 2 weeks asking vague questions to everyone to determine if they are truly trustworthy. Instead of just asking for the truth, I’m tip-toeing around everyone. Including, Ms. Secretary since I’m of the impression that she is being totally honest with me.
It’s now the mid-March Board meeting at which it was our agenda to accomplish a few simple items:
- Propose about 5 seemingly insignificant Bylaw changes that would simply clean up inconsistent and unnecessary language
- Make changes to each of the Board Member ‘job descriptions’ so that going forward it would make sense to have someone else responsible for accomplishing these tasks, thus allowing the Board to have ultimate over-sight of that person, aka the Executive Director.
- Vote in a new Board of Directors to take over the new positions in June (as this was a provision we had written in to the Bylaw changes).
- Upon full acceptance of the Bylaw changes, I would give a “state of the club” address in which the Executive Director position would be proposed and then tabled for
further discussion and more focused documentation for a later vote.
Oh, but this went astray when a topic in the Bylaw proposals went in a direction none of us ever expected. Much to our surprise, yet really unnoticed, Coach B points out how the language in the Bylaw proposal regarding club voting rights has a problem. It’s innocent enough, but generates quite a debate. Because of the twists and turns this took over the next several weeks, I actually shrugged it off as a minor road block. I figured it would be quickly resolved for the next meeting. We weren’t able to complete the full
agenda, not all of the Bylaw changes were ratified, and it was way past our promised time, so I held off saying anything about the Executive Director position. A couple people ask me why I held back, but I basically shrug it off as not a big deal. “We’ll do it at the next meeting.”
Through email, the Board continued discussing the Bylaw issues so that we could complete them at another meeting to take place a few weeks later. Again, at that meeting it was our agenda to complete the Bylaw changes and eventually talk about the proposed Executive Director position. However, this meeting takes place on April 6, 2010, a day after what I had considered one of the worst days of my life! From this date until well into 2011, I had lost focus of my Growth Mindset, my ability to “Give”, and ability to teach others what I knew. From that point forward, I felt I was in for a fight to keep my reputation, sanity and family.
GOAL Consulting 